Today is Sri Rama navami. In Andhra Pradesh on this day ‘Sri Sita Rama kalyanam’ is celebrated with great piety. This marriage of Sri Rama with Sitadevi is celebrated every year in the month of Chaitra on the ninth day (shuklapaksha navami). This is the first marriage that is celebrated with piety and pompous in every temple. The marriage is regarded as state festival. State celebrates it at Bhadrachalam Sri Rama temple. The chief minister of the state will participate in the marriage and offer the pattu vastralu (silk clothes) to the deities and ‘muthyala talambralu’ for the marriage.
Sri Sita Rama kalyanam is the only marriage in Hindu culture that is revered by all. Only after this celetial marriage other marriages are held in the telugu new year. This marriage is given utmost regard. This is so because Sri Rama stood for monogamy – he is respected for following ‘eka patni vratam’ (one life – one wife).
In general, in nature, we can observe that male gender is polygamous. Though we are not very sure when this institution of marriage has come into practice; all religions attach sanctity to it. In the early days of cultural evolution, polygamy was practiced by the powerful. Men of strength in a tribe could have more than one wife. In those days when polygamy had social sanction Sri Rama had stick to the principle of monogamy. He stood by his principle all along his life.
If we remember the episode of Sri Sita Rama kalyanam in Ramayana, we can realize that we do still follow the same ethos. Every Indian, born and brought up in India, to what ever religion he may belong to is aware of the story of ‘Ramayana’. Rama is the eldest son of Sri Dasharatha, the king of Ayodhya. He had learnt various kshatriya skills and had education to be the future king of Ayodhya. One day sage Vishwamitra had come to the court of the king Dasharatha and requested him to send his son Sri Rama, the future king of Ayodhya, with him to help him do yaga without any disturbance or destruction from the demons. At the time of yaga the demons - rakshasas may create havoc and Sri Rama should see to it that the yaga is performed without any disturbance and if necessary Rama had to fight and kill the demons. King Dasharatha sends his beloved son with reluctance fearing that the sage may curse him if he did not do as asked. The king thinks just like any father, that his son has no knowledge of practical application of his warfare skills, and he is too young to fight demons. Sage Vishwamitra assures safety of his son and also future benefits.
Sage Vishwamitra takes Sri Rama and his brother Laksmana along with him. On the way to his place, he teaches Sri Rama some more skills. At the time of Vishwamitra’s yaga, Sri Rama along with his brother Lakshmana successfully protects the rishis and yaga from demons. .
After the successful completion of yaga sage Vishwamitra takes his disciple Sri Rama to the ‘Sita Swayamvaram’. Sita is the daughter of king Janaka – the king of Mithila. When she had come of marriageable age king Janaka announces ‘Swayamvar’ (selection of the groom). He announces that any prince who can lift 'shiva dhanus' (Lord Shiva’s bow which is very heavy and in general cannot be lifted singly by ordinary mortal). On the specified day, princes of various kingdoms assemble. All try to lift it in vain. At last Sri Rama on the order of sage Vishwamitra attempts to lift it. He not only lifts it, but when tries to aim with it, it breaks. King Janaka announces Rama as the winner and to marry Sita. At that moment though Sita wants to garland Sri Rama, he refuses and says he can marry her only after his father gives permission. Following his guru- sage Vishwamitra’s words he had lifted the bow. But his marriage will be held only after his father and family agrees to it. A word is sent to king Dasharatha and he comes along with his family and entourage and marriage will be celebrated.
There are few things which we can realize from all this. However old children might be parents regard them as young and innocent. But under able guidance they gain knowledge and practical life skills. When confidence is gained to deal with life they are ready for marriage. A girl’s parents want to give their daughter in marriage to a capable person to take care of her and protect her. A boy always wants to marry a girl with the permission of his parents and family. Though he is selects he awaits the permission of his parents. Sri Rama who had the principle of one woman- wife, in his life, waited for his father’s permission. He did participate in the competition on the order of sage – his guru and guardian then, to show his capability. But when the question of marriage had come he simply waited for his family’s decision. Even in these modern days we see so many affairs and relationships. But when the question of marriage comes guys hide behind the parental permission. Even girls also oblige parents in this regard .Very few continue with the relation and go against the family to get married and live together.
In their married life Rama and Sita did have their problems. But they stick to the principle of monogamy. The living together in happiness and suffering, their separation and union and repeat separation do have lessons for us.
The main principle in this marriage, I feel, is the introduction of monogamous sanctity to marriage in the days when polygamy is the rule and had social acceptance.
*The pic is from google images.
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